I will start the calls again but I am not sure at what time of day or how often they will be.  Please email me and give me your input.  I would appreciate all the advice you have to offer.  In the meantime, I will be posting every week a new topic.  Feel free to discuss the topics and we can comment back and forth.  I appreciate everyone’s love and support but at this time, I want to do what is best for my family.  I am offering all my callers one free life coaching session if you would like some personal help and direction.  To register for your free session, email me at newmancarrie@yahoo.com.  Thanks every one and watch for next weeks topic- PASSION!

This is a continuation of yesterday’s topic- visualizations. We talked yesterday about how to put the image in your mind and to put emotion behind it. If you do not, then it is no different that picturing your car! You have to create those feelings to help the subconscious create the things that you want in your life.

So how often should you visualize? I like to say as often as possible! What I do is in the evening I listen to music and picture my overall life goals for my family and me. I picture where I want to go in my business, what I want my husband to be doing, what car I want to drive, our family traveling all over the world, etc.

However, I also visualize whenever I want to ensure success. I will sit in my car for three minutes and visualize before going into a sales presentation, or before and important phone call, and even if I have lost something- I will visualize finding it. Use this tool as often as you want! I promise it works if you have faith in it!

I want to talk about dream boards. These are really great tools to help you create a picture right in front of you. What you do with a dream board is you place pictures of things you would like to create on a board and hang it where you will see it. You can separate it in different areas: personal, family, and business. Or you can organize it however you want. It is a great way to create images in front of you on a constant basis.

“Let creative energy fill your consciousness and then mould it into an image of yourself in a much more abundant state of life. See yourself already in possession of what you previously only dreamed of.”

-Bob Proctor, You Were Born Rich

Now many people get hung up in visualizations. They close their eyes and picture something and guess what, they think they will automatically get that thing. They are waiting for it to come and then doubt creeps into their mind. Slowly and surely, they start to reject the thing that they wanted.

If you really want to learn how to make visualizations work for you, then listen to today’s call. I walked the listeners through a visualization exercise and how have a powerful visualization. Go to the Daily Call page at the top and follow the link to listen!

There are a couple of different ways that you can reframe this experience. First, you can write about it. Especially when I was first using this tool, I found that writing was the best for me. I would write the story of what happened. The great thing about this is you can write about it as crazy as you want! Make it funny or completely unrealistic- the goal is to take away the negative emotions associateed with this memeory and replace it with something else. You can even write the situation exactly how it happended but write at the end that you decided not to let this effect you negatively. Example: “After my boss told me that he was really upset about the report because I did not include specific measurements, I decided that his disappointment had nothing to do with me. I know that I am good enough for this job and it will be easy for me to add the measurements to the report.”

Second, visualize. I love visualizations! It is easier for me to attach positive emotional feeling to the situation when I visualize it. The steps for this are the same as I listed earlier. Picture the situation and how you wanted it to turn out. Maybe in the above example your boss comes to you about the report and when he realizes that you did not include the measurements, he apologizes because he realized he never told you that he wanted them in the report. This is really easy and can be done anywhere in just a few minutes.

Finally, the last item you can do to reframe a memory is to stop it in its progress! When you feel yourself getting frustrated and upset in a situation, stop the negative feelings from bubbling up. Tell yourself, “This has nothing to do with me being a good person.” Or “What can I do different right now to change this situation?” One of my favorites is to say, “everything happens for a reason. What can I be learning from this?” That question takes me from a place of defense to problem-solving mode. In other words, it changes me from feeling disempowered to feeling empowered.

I love to reframe and I find it easiest to get in the habit of reframing when I am going through the experience. It is much easier to let go. Remember the purpose of this tool is to help you to put positive emotion with the experience. The book, The Secret, talks about how to help the Law of Attraction work for you. It talks about reframing in one of the chapter summaries. It says, “At the end of every day, before you go to sleep, go back through the events of the day. Any events or moments that were not what you wanted, replay them in you r mind the way you wanted them to go.”

Unfortunalty, as women, we ususally do the first.  We beat ourselves up because we are not perfect.  There is no such thing as perfection.  We are all human and we are all doing the best we can.  See the perfection in you and who you are right now. 

This weekend, don’t beat yourself up.  See how great you are…even if you sleep in, burn dinner, or made a mistake.  You are all incredible and I love and appreciate each of you!

My best friend, has many incredible strengths. She is an incredible mother. Like SUPERMOM. She personally is extremely driven to make sure each of her children know how much they are loved, to know how great they are, and to be independent. Her life revolves around her children.

My other best friend, is an incredible decorator. She will go to the local good-will store and buy and old piece of furniture, platter, suitcase, or chair and turn it into a beautiful work of art. She has this artistic mind that really sees the potential for each and every object. Her home is beautiful, cozy, and she decorates it for dirt-cheap.

My sister is very organized. Everything in her home has a place. There is no clutter to be found. Her bills are paid electronically, her home décor is precise, her closets are organized, and she does a lot of things in her life really well. She sees a task, and gets it done.

My other sister, is the connector. She calls everyone, she makes sure everyone is doing well. She takes time to make sure that each of are not too busy for our family. She wants to do nothing more than spend family time together. She loves to plan parties and bake delicious food to ensure a great party.

All the women in my life are incredible. I did not just tell you about four women who I know for your entertainment. I want you to see that each of them are very different. They each have great strengths. There is something about each of them that fills a part of my life, and the lives of those they touch. The same goes for each of you. I know that if I was to get to know you on a one-on-one basis, I could write a great paragraph about you and your strengths.

My point is, we each have our own unique talents. As women we get down and depressed because we can’t do something as good as another. We are always comparing our worst to someone else’s best! Stop doing that! See the unique woman that you are.

There is a great quote by a man named Marvin J. Ashton. It reads, “Sisters, do not allow yourselves to be made to feel inadequate or frustrated because you cannot do everything others seem to be accomplishing. Rather, each should asses her own situation, her own energy, and her own talents, and then choose the best way to mold her family into a team, a unit that works together and supports each other. Only can you and your Father in Heaven know your needs, strengths, and desires. Around this knowledge your personal course must be charted and your choices made.”

I love that quote. It is actually right by my desk to remind me that I am unique. I am special. My course and choices can be based on me and my wants and desires. I do not have to be like my best friends or my sisters. I love them but I love me too. I could write a great paragraph about myself and how great I am. I want you to know that for yourself. Be proud of who you are. Assess your own situations, and move forward because you are incredible!

As women, we wake up in the morning and we run to the mirror to see our newest flaw that magically appeared last night. We get up close and examine every inch of our body to see what is wrong with it. It is like we are gathering evidence to prove that we are not beautiful. We see all these women on TV who are gorgeous and thin and we compare ourselves to them. But in all honesty, it is not real.

I love to watch crime shows like CSI and others. But sometimes I have to laugh. Have you ever really looked at those guys? Can you tell me that if you were to walk into the CSI department of your town everyone would look like supermodels in designer clothes with perfect hair and make-up? No! But that is what is in front of us all the time.

I want you to stop looking at your flaws. See the beauty in you. When you feel beautiful, others perceive you as beautiful. When you have a good self-esteem about who you are and what you are doing in your life, you radiate beauty. You will see more beauty and greatness in the world.

If this is hard for you, fall in love with yourself one body part at a time. Take your feet, or your belly button, or your eyes and fall in love with them. When you do love that part of yourself, move on to the next! Pretty soon you will love yourself for YOU and you will be beautiful. Don’t get caught up in the fake. You are real.

As women we deserve to be intensely happy. We should be happy. Many of us are extremely blessed. We have freedoms that many in the world only dream of. We can stand up for ourselves and be treated as equals. And yet, many of us are not happy. We do not feel the joy in our lives. We get tired and bogged down with the stresses of daily living to the point that we often forget to have gratitude. We often forget to feel.

When I was in high school, I decided to be in the Junior Miss Pageant. It was an interesting experience. I quickly learned that I am not the pageant type. I am a little too outspoken and don’t care about minute wardrobe details. However, there were two great things that I remember from that pageant. The first was all the great friends that I made. The second was a quote that I said. We each had the opportunity to say a quote that we really liked. The quote has been permanently engrained into my life. It says, “Happiness is like jelly, the more you spread it on something, the more you get it all over yourself.”

I decided to put that quote to the test. I decided that anytime I was feeling down I would do something of service for others. I would leave notes for people in their lockers, I often would buy some candy and leave it for someone in the school office, and it was fun! I quickly was able to shift my daily stresses to happiness, to joy.

I often reflect on that time of my life and think of how I can do more of that now in my life as a mom, a wife, a coworker, a friend. I have come to realize that we don’t always have the time to write a note or come up with something cute and creative. But, we can look our child in the eye and tell them how important they are to us. We can take the time to listen to the friend who is struggling. We can smile at the people that we come in contact with at the bank, store, or walking down the street.

Create more joy in your life. Do it by serving and helping someone else to see the joy in theirs. Lord Byron said, “To have joy, one must share it.”

I love the movie, The Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet. In the movie, Kate plays a woman named Rose. She has been in an one-way relationship with a man for three years. He has been basically using her and just announced that he is engaged to another woman at their work. Rose ends up swapping homes with Amanda (played by Cameron Diaz) and going to L.A. for a week. There she meets and old Hollywood film director, Arthur. Rose invites this cute eighty something year old man to dinner and he tells Rose that she has been living her own life like the best friend. He tells her to get some gumption and become the leading lady in her own life.

Where in your life are you living like the best friend? How can you live more like the leading lady in your life? Because guess what? You are the leading lady in your own life! If you do not act or treat yourself like a leading lady, no one else will! Go out there today and decide what having gumption is for you. Then move forward to create that in your life!